8am Sunday morning - I woke up edgy
815am - I felt like a caged tiger
830am - I couldn't handle it anymore!
I had to ski!!!!!
My spirit was aching. I had skied with my son for 6 and a half hours the day before but had been asked to come out to a different hill. We only had the one ski day all winter and knew it could be the last day for the season. However, my son was tired from our prior ski trip and my partner would be on his own because we had his kids visiting and was bound to stay with them cause they don't ski........yet:)
Obligation vs. desire. Freedom vs. mommydom. To ski or not to ski that was the question. I didn't want to disappoint anyone by abandoning my day with the family. I was grumpy, resentful and not showing any gratitude.
I called up a friend of mine. She set me straight. I was told, "If you really love your family maybe you should practice what you preach and do what feels right. Maybe the kids would benefit from alone time with their dad. J can hang with his friends and their parents can be in charge. What do you feel you want to do Angel? " My jaw dropped. My own words coming back at me.
I wasn't feeling well that morning either. My stomach was achy and I thought I was sick. My excuse to get out of a day I really wanted.
I got off the phone and went to speak to my husband about this. Although he felt left out of the events of the day before we had made arrangements for alone time the following week to make up for it. Great, maybe I could go. I still felt guilty.
I went downstairs only to find him bundling up the 2 midgets and proclaiming that he was taking them out and that either I go skiing or take alone time. Sign two. I was lovingly (and rightly) being abandoned because I was being a bear. FINE!
I packed my gear and left.
I skied for 2 hours that day with clients who are ski patrollers. They offered me this day because they knew it was one of my dreams to join a ski patrol team. I felt at home on the hill and with these 3 awesome women! What an opportunity. Not to mention that literally, the day before I was asked to join them I had been thinking and talking to my son about how I wanted to pursue this. (you'd think I was psychic or something;))
9 degrees in March, sun shining and great people to ski with. How much more could I ask for.
Well, I got more.......
I went home and to my surprise my son had been out with his buddies and had what he called, "A day that he will remember for the rest of his life." They found a deer skeleton, spine with head attached and hides (a boys dream!). They built a fort in the woods by our home and this is where they planned to camp in the summer.
My partner confessed to me that night that he and the kids had a wonderful time and needed to be together. They chatted and spoke candidly about everything they needed to with their dad. It was a wonderful and well needed bonding experience that deepened them as a unit and each of them as a person.
I couldn't believe it. It was perfect. We all went our separate ways for the day only to come back stronger at the end of it.
As for me. I went to the hill and decided that this was something I no longer needed to debate. Come September I will be taking my courses so I will never miss another ski day again anywhere!
Why am I telling you this story?