This, ladies and gentlemen is my new thing. Living a feel lifestyle instead of a think lifestyle.
We have heard the phrase "Actions speak louder than words", "Think before you speak", or one of my personal favourites, "use your head!"
As children many hear the latter two phrases consistently. We are taught to think our way through life. As a society of analytical beings we tend to dismiss our hearts to the back burner in our decision making process.
It is correct that actions and words must be in line with each other in order to have a productive life, and that what we say is most effective when followed up by an action. However, most of us are exceptionally adept at speaking words and taking action that do not feel right to us.
We will go out and say we want to for the sake of a friend, or not to spoil the night for others. Sometimes we work late hours because we have told our bosses that we would get that one last project done even though our heart is aching to go home and watch a movie and kick back.
Some would say obligations are important to adhere to and we have to be people of our word. I agree with this statement. However, in life there is also the allowance for flexibility.
In life when we take stock, stop and truly feel what our bodies and emotions are trying to tell us, we will inevitably say, do and respond in an honest way that others will also feel and respond to in kind.
The fact this internal dialogue between people is unseen and unheard is why we dismiss it. It is taking place. Without words our body language gives away the truth. What we are feeling is expressed through the eyes and the way we stand or hold ourselves. Our energy can be felt by others and we can feel them.
Nurturing in such a way that our feelings are acknowledged first within a conversation is something we are only beginning to become aware of as a form of communication. Two people sitting side by side without words is powerful. 4 minutes of looking into the eyes of another, like in this video relationship reconnect can be a monumental in learning about how the other person feels and truly knowing their heart.
I have recently found that I am continually having two conversations with people. I hear their words and see their actions and then I stop to feel what they are saying. I take a breath. in that moment I am listening to their truth. even if I forget to make that effort to slow down something in me, a little voice will tell me if what is being presented by the other party is what they really wish to express or how they really feel. I dismiss nothing.
Have you ever had a chat with someone and something didn't feel quite right about what they were saying. Like there was a disconnect of some sort? There probably is, and you are probably right. So how do you find out if what you are feeling is accurate? Ask questions!
It takes courage to ask questions If something feels right or wrong. It makes us feel vulnerable. When we ask, clarify, and identify the main point of the conversation it lets others know we are engaged, connected to their spirit and deeply to their truth.
Here are some simple steps to living a feel lifestyle.
- Slow down
- Pay attention to the details. what is going on around you. How do you feel in the situation, in the
environment that the situation is taking place in. How do you feel about the people in the situation.
- Don't dismiss how you feel
- Ask gentle questions
Sometimes taking a step away from a conversation, person or environment is a good choice. It enables you to slow down and take stock of your feelings. Honour yourself by letting others know you would like a minute, or take a breather because you would like to sit with what has transpired.
Time to step away is hard to ask for. We want to be in the moment, have the answers, or in my case make sure everything is ok and feels happy and resolved with an equitable solution for those involved.
Taking time honours them and you. Others letting you take that time does the same. This is one of the signs that the conversation and the relationship whether personal or professional, is working.
Honouring you honours others. Being truthful to yourself will help others be truthful to themselves and to you.
Remember though, it starts with us.
It boils down to one of Shakespeare's most famous lines,
"....And above all else, to thine own self be true".
Feel lifestyle begins with you. what you feel informs what you say which informs how you act.
Live this feel lifestyle and others will follow your example. You will bring this practice into every aspect of your life and draw those to you who are on this journey or are willing to go on this journey too.