What do I feel like writing about today? I have so much to say about so many things and yet sometimes I am at a loss for words. I was driving yesterday and I had a thought. I can't really remember what it was but I do recall it had something to do with being treated well in a relationship.
Oh yes, now I recall.......
As I was driving I was thinking about relationships, love and what it takes to make a HEALTHY long term relationship. I've read so many articles and talked to so many people, and most say respect, admire, trust and communicate. Those are the things that make it last.
My mind drifted as I thought about those things (still paying mind to the road of course) and I found myself thinking about what I want in a long term relationship.
I have had three in my life. My experiences, like most have taught me many things. These are my take aways.........
Moving in with a partner, A ring on your finger, or having a child doesn't guarantee a partner staying in your life. How you are treated by them and how we treat ourselves within the relationship day to day does.
For me its pretty simple now. Find things to respect about your partner, and be someone they can respect. Start with yourself. You can only get what you give, so respecting and loving yourself is something your partner will have no problems giving if they know where you stand with yourself.
Trust your partner and be the kind of partner they can trust. give them reasons to feel safe and secure, and make sure you feel the same way. Remeber too, that feeling safe means knowing your likes, dislikes, what it is that you want and being able to gently voice that sets boundries and lets your partner know where you stand in the relationship. It helps both you to feel secure and encourages your partner to be vulnerable and voice their feelings too.
I could go on......Each morning we wake up beside our partner we make the commitment to admire them, be vulnerable with them and most importantly to me.......enjoy hanging out with them.
We make a choice to work through our best and our worst with them because we simply love being around them.
This is why its important to be friends first. To know you love hanging out with a person. Children hang out with other children because they like them. They don't label it as admiration, respect, etc. If you ask a child why they chose their best friend, most times the answer comes back "Because I like them", "I like hanging out with them", "They are cool!" When we as adults see our partners in that same simple light, we are on the right track.
This is not to say you won't have days that you want to be alone, or have a hard time being around your partner. Kids go through this too "Billly and I aren't friends anymore we had a fight". This is when we know love can endure. The strongest of relationships take these moments and utilize them to strengthen a foundation that continually be built upon.
"Billy was a jerk, but so was I, we are friends again mommy". These times teach us about ourselves and those we love.
This is also what we impart on our children. We teach them through our behavior with our partners what to look for and nurture in their relationships in the future.
They mimic us as they get older in how they treat their mates.
I continually say I love hanging out with my mate. He makes me laugh, is highly intelligent and most of all he truly is my best friend. We cry together, get frustrated together and even do most of our chores together. This is not hard to find.
Look at what you like and treat yourself this way daily. In that you will find others who will treat you the same. Day to day. moment to moment choose to love hanging out with you, and your partner, children, co-workers will reflect that.
For me these are some of the greatest lessons I have learned about relationships.
Choose to hang out with your besties everyday when you wake up. Make that choice.
love yourself the way you want others to love you.
On a side note: Im not a relationship expert. I am an intuitive. Being that, I am shown what to write, how to write it, and I know i am writing it for someone out there who needs to hear it.
If you read any of my articles please know this is your psychic reading for the day. It is my gift to you:)